„Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.“

Bill Vaughan

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Other funny quotes

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister … and now wish to withdraw that statement.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.