Category Archives: Famous funny quotes

Not only funny qoutes, but here you will find some of the most famous funny quotes.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

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Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.

Bette Davis

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I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

Emo Philips

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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Woody Allen

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His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Mae West

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I never implied you were a neanderthal; that would be a huge step up for you.

Wayne Pearson

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I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

David Lee Roth

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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Woody Allen

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Britain has invented a new missile. It’s called the civil servant – it doesn’t work and it can’t be fired.

Walter Walker

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A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.

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